Trey Lotz - L-11 Win
|Auditing Success||L 11|
WOW, This has to be the best kept treasure in the universe.
I had so much validation of who I am as an immortal.
I also had a HUGE mystery blown away from my space about the universe and others in it.
My deepest gratitude to Trey for being Trey!
Then a few weeks later:
I've found a new balance with force.
The minute I finished L11 I looked out to understand others better. I have always been fascinated with other people and strive to understand them, by understanding me. If I realize something is true for me, I look out and if it explains some truth for everyone else, my reach then expands across the universe. I can KNOW better on a planet wide scale. Whew! Well L11 caused me to bleed out all over the place, like a bucket of paint being poured over the Earth.
The first thing I noticed about social intercourse as a child is that people were unpredictable. That left me with some trust issues. Once I got into Scientology and found out about the reactive mind, my trust issues expanded. How to trust anyone with a reactive mind? Not possible. As a result I became extremely forgiving and reasonable. Not that that was a problem for me. I saw everyone else as handicapped! Except , looking back I went into a sort of apathy about control of others. They were not stable or intelligent or sane enough to run control on with reason alone. The best I could do was herd them into some circumstance beyond their command , to some event or circumstance that would get them to key out accidently. Usually through some form of entertainment. So, I became an entertainer. It was the only method of control, curiosity.
Upon finishing L11, I instantly reviewed my track where others had harmed me and I understood why. This was where I was able to let go of a real burden. Before this, for many years, I thought I had caused it all. Bought it all upon myself. At this point though, I saw it as an equal effort , and that others had some input too on me and I almost fell to my knees in relief.
I guess on some level I relieved myself from being a "total cause" case. I came into communication with the rest of society in a harmony I had not felt before. A regard for others and their ability to cause, came within my perceptions. And I found I was granting beingness to them. Wow, my ARC came up. But instead of becoming more "reasonable", with this granting of power to others, I felt less inclined to be pushed around socially.
I can't really analyze this in a success story, but my balance of power shifted.
I had more mercy, yet, less reasonableness, more regard, more tolerance, yet less discount points for others. But the final equation for me was, I am here on the same terms as everyone else. I do not have to make excuses for them and take the losses on myself like some holy martyr.
I trust myself now to be here on these terms. Life is really really different!
Suddenly I know I have the ability to go free.
This is a real life repair on a whole new level.
Auditor is Trey Lotz